Signs You're In A Relationship With A Narcissist

How To Tell If You're Dating A Narcissist

Does the world revolve around your partner? Is there a lack of empathy towards you and your wants and needs? Do you find your plans being cancelled or shifted last minute? Are you constantly making up excuses and defending your partners words or actions? Say less, you're probably dating a narcissist. When we think of the word, we think Kanye West, Donald Trump, or Paris Hilton. But narcissists don't have to be famous, nor do they have to be easy to spot.

Characteristics Of A Narcissist

Arrogant & Self-Absorbed

Narcissists believe themselves to be above others because of an inflated sense of self-worth. They lack the willingness to listen to others. They don't see themselves as others might see them, their perception is skewed. They won't see themselves as self-centered, because they tend only to see what they want to see. Which can make them a royal pain to deal with. If you're in a relationship with one, don't even bother arguing about anything because it's pointless. It won't go anywhere, because they won't let it go until they've "won".

Lack of Empathy

Not being able to understand how they are affecting others is another main characteristic. Despite making you feel terrible and insignificant, they won't see it because they are too focused on themselves and being right. They won't admit they're wrong because that would hurt their ego. Don't expect to ever hear an apology or an "I'm sorry" from them.

Controls Conversations

Because they have a hard time identifying with other people's emotions and feeling empathetic, they tend to turn conversations back toward themselves. No matter what the topic of conversation is, it always manages to circle back to them and their past experiences and their accomplishments.

Gaslighting

They will gaslight you. They deny anything ever happening because they want to deflect the blame and accusations. They don't want to be held accountable for anything. They invalidate your emotions telling you "You're overreacting" or "You're being too sensitive" You find yourself suddenly doubting yourself and what really happened. They withhold love from you to try and make you feel guilty, helping them control the situation.

Hate Criticism

Not to say narcissists aren't sensitive people, because they are, but it's in a different way. Empaths are sensitive to other's feelings, while narcissists are sensitive to criticism. They would rather burn a bridge than take the not-so-great feedback on the chin. This means you want them to change and become a better person, but they don't even want to hear what's wrong with themselves in the first place.

Lack Of Accountability & Self Reflection

All relationships are built off of communication and compromise. If your partner can't sit down and take a good look at themselves, trying to find where they can improve, taking into account where they might be lacking in the relationship, how can anyone expect it to grow and flourish?

They Have Few Friends

Hating to admit they're wrong means they have a hard time keeping friends. One small argument could mean the end of the friendship altogether. It's hard to keep friends around when you constantly believe yourself to not be a peer, but instead a superior.

Unrealistic Goals

Narcissists are obsessed with success, they will prioritize it above everything else, including you. Their ego feeds off the idea of success and their lack of empathy will make it hard for them to see how it is affecting you. We all want to be prioritized in our relationships and we all want to feel special. Narcissists can be difficult because their relationships are never put at the top of the list.

How To Spot One On The First Date

1. Constantly checking to see if other people are looking at them.
2. Rude or inconsiderate to the staff
3. They ask few questions, mostly they want to talk about themselves
4. Won't take responsibility for their failures or mistakes in the past | Have excuses
5. They are charming, and love the attention

Life is short. Too short for dating someone that is ultimately going to bring you down and treat you with no respect. We all deserve to be loved and desired. If you happen to fall into a relationship with someone who harbors if not some, all of these qualities, it's never too late to get out. Lean on family and friends for support and when the timing is right, you can make the move that's best for you.