Signs To Tell If Your Partner Is Emotionally Unintelligent

One could argue someone's EQ is more important than their IQ. What does it mean to have a low EQ and what are the signs? 07.04.24

girl looking through a water glass

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is the ability the recognize, understand, and manage one’s emotions. When developed properly, a higher EQ can improve our decision making skills, our professional success, and our overall well being. You almost have to ask yourself why wouldn’t I do it? But it’s not always easy to look within. Confronting our emotions can be rather painful at times, because it can highlight some of our flaws. By tapping in we are forcing ourselves to recognize where we could use some improvements. And it takes courage to come to terms with ourselves and admit we are not perfect.

So then what does it mean then to be emotionally unintelligent? If emotional intelligence is about being in tune with your emotions and being able to recognize others, then a low EQ is just as you'd expect, the polar opposite. Having trouble recognizing emotions, understanding them as well as managing them are all a part of being emotionally inept.

Signs Your Partner Might Be Emotionally Unintelligent

    1. Poor Listening Skills
    2. Highly Opinionated | Dominates Conversations
    3. Emotional Explosions
    4. Blames Others | Zero Accountability
    5. Difficulty Managing Stress
    6. Resistance to Feedback
    7. Hates Admitting They're Wrong
    8. Complains Too Often
    9. Adverse To Change
a girl who is upset

Poor Listening Skills

If your partner isn't actively listening to you then it's going to be much harder for them to understand your side of an argument. It gets frustrating when you feel like you're talking to a brick wall. If someone isn't self aware of their poor listening skills nor are they paying close attention to you when you're speaking it can be a sign of a low EQ.

Highly Opinionated | Dominates Conversations

This ties back to poor listening skills, they don’t see the others perspective because they don’t listen or show empathy, so they are therefore always right. A one sided conversation shows that they aren't even aware of the one sidedness which can alert to a lack of self awareness which in turn gives way to a lower EQ.

Emotional Explosions | Difficulty Managing Stress

Don’t have a good handle on their own emotions and awareness of how they are so they have a hard time regulating them. Somebody with a high emotional intelligence is conscientious of themselves as they are getting upset. They are aware of how their emotions affect themselves as well as the others around them. With a low EQ they will have less control over their emotions.

Blame Others | Zero Accountability

If someone is immediately looking for someone else to blame when conflict arises, it can be a tell tale sign of a low EQ. With a higher IQ someone can recognize how they're reacting and how their emotions are affecting the others around them. If they can't see this then they will immediately be looking for a scapegoat.

Resistance to Feedback | Hate Admitting They’re Wrong

Getting defensive towards others and constructive criticism is showing they aren't in tune with themselves. If someone takes things personally, becomes dismissive or defensive, rather than accepting the comments as constructive, it can be a sign that they have a low emotional intelligence.

a emotionless face

Complain Too Often | Too Pessimistic

It someone is always focused on the negative side of things and complaining, chances are they feel challenged by their emotions. They can't accept and process their feelings. Instead they complain to feel better, but ultimately complaining doesn't resolve anything it just pushes the problem outward and onto other aspect of life.

Adverse To Change

If someone loves to stick to their routines and resists change because change brings about new problems and difficult emotions. People with a low EQ hate confronting their own feelings and what do you think brings about a windfall of emotions? Changes.

Little Ways To Improve Emotional Intelligence

    1. Journaling daily - Helps with processing our feelings
    2. Finding a Therapist - Talking about your emotions and breaking them down
    3. Practice Active Listening - When someone is talking try to fully be there
    4. Practicing Empathy - Try imagining yourself as others when situations arise, how they might feel

Having a partner who is emotionally unavailable can be really challenging at times. Especially when you yourself have a higher EQ. It can feel like being with a brick wall. Anything you say bounces directly off of them and never gets heard, so you end up going in circles having the same frustrating arguments without ever getting some type of resolution. It's important to know yourself and who the partner is that will best suit you. It takes trial and error and not being afraid to say maybe this person isn't "the one".

A lot of people avoid dealing with their emotions because again, it can bring about feelings of vulnerability. Being an emotionally-charged person has always had a negative connotation attached to it. If you are too emotional then you are weak. Stoicism has been confused with strength, when it's quite the opposite. Emotions are like a super power. You tap into them and you can better understand yourself and the people around you.

Related Posts