The Golden Retriever Boyfriend Personality | Redefining Male Gender Roles

What Exactly Is a Golden Retriever Boyfriend?

Somewhat similar to the last post, the Golden Retriever boyfriend has been around for quite some time, it just didn't have a name yet. I've been listening to my best friend tell me he's a god damn Golden Retriever for the past five years. He loves to please his partners so it makes total sense. The term is used to describe a male who is affectionate, easy-going, loyal, supportive, and most importantly, happy to please his girlfriend. Literally just think of a Golden Retriever, they will do anything in their power to please their owner. They cower in fear when their owner's get upset because they can't stand the idea of you being unhappy with them. In a lot of ways, they are considered to be the "ideal" partner.

Redefining Male Gender Roles

The role of the man has always been to be the stoic, strong-willed, aggressive breadwinner of the relationship. He is the leader and protector of the family, harnessing all the power. While the woman is submissive, polite, accomidating, and nuturing. Over the past hundred and sixty or so years we have taken steps towards finally achieving pieces of gender equality. We aren't there quite yet though. The United Nations in 2022 posted an article estimating it to be another 300 years before we finally achieve true equality. It's happening regardless, and the Golden Retrieve Boyfriend is a show of progress. Men being able to show a more emotional, caring side of themselves and have it be accepted by society is a step. Having your boyfriend do something for you not because you can't, but because he genuinely likes to be of service and make you happy. In previous times this might be a show of weakness in a man to be waiting on his woman. Typical male gender roles are pretty much the opposite of the Golden Retriever.

So Are They Good Or Bad?

Everyone is different right? So what might be perfect, best case scenario for you is going to look one hundred percent different for me. It's on a case by case basis. One of the most famous and current cases of the Golden Retriever Boyfriend is Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. He has been captured countless times being intimate, cuddly, and catering to her needs. His image is constantly being portrayed as "attentive". Another would be Ken from the freshly released Barbie movie. There are so many amazing traits that come with them. Having someone be attentive and enjoy doing things for you is definitely a good thing. But as with all things in life, there needs to be some kind of balance.

We Need Some Pushback In Life

If we are with someone who never challenges us how can we grow? It's important to have your opinion challenged in life because it forces you to really think and reflect on what you're saying. Having someone always say yes and do whatever you ask can get repetitive and stale over time. There's no real fire in that relationship which can result in boredom, which is fine, but from a personal growth standpoint I don't think you will get much out of it.

Codependency Is Good To A Certain Point

We want someone to want us. As humans we need to feel loved, it's written in our DNA. But there is a threshold for too much. If your partner can't be without you and constantly wants to be attached by the hip, this could start to become problematic. Because as much as we need love, we also need space. Spending too much time together could result in a burnout. I've seen it countless times, where I have the friend that falls madly in love and subsequently falls off the face of the earth. They spend every second and minute of the day with their newfound love. Over time time though this starts to affect all the other relationships they held prior. Friends that they would see regularly they don't see at all. And then those friendships start to suffocate and die off. They stop texting and calling to see if you want to do something because everytime you're busy. It's important to find the balance between wanting to spend all your time together and still maintaining your social life outside of the relationship. A Golden Retriever Boyfriend might wind up being a little too clingy which could lead to this exact scenario.

They Get Upset Easily And Take The Blame

Just like when you scold your dog, they put their tale between their legs and feel bad. Instead of standing up for themselves they immediately start to apologize. It could be clearly your fault and still they will take the blame. Which again, everything in moderation but we all need to be held accountable from time to time. It's not healthy to have your partner always be taking the blame and apologizing. There needs to be balance.

The Times They Are A-Changin'

I don't think it's a bad thing to be trusting, kind, unashamed of your feelings, maybe have a touch of naivety...The term can definitely be derogatory if put in a certain context though. I most likely fit the criteria to a degree. I myself enjoy pleasing, I'm highly emotional, and definitely don't fit the quintessential definition of the male gender role. But hey that's showing that the times are changing and equality isn't as far off as it once was before. Is there still a ways to go? Yes. But it's one hundred percent not as far as it once was before.