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Consistency In A Relationship: How We Build Trust

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Consistency builds trust and trust is the foundation of all relationships.  05.01.24

What Does Consistency Look Like In A Relationship

It's absolutely crucial in the beginning stages of a relationship to commit to our words. Our words and actions hold more weight than we actually think. When we say we are going to do something, we need to come through on it and fulfill that promise. This is what a tiny fragment of trust looks like. Saying you'll do something and then doing it. These tiny fragments over time, will be the foundation of the trust that exists between us.

Building Trust Through Our Words And Actions

Let's say you just met someone. You've finally found a genuine connection and you couldn't be more excited. You have plans to see each other on Friday night. It's been decided that you'll go over to their place first, and then together, you'll go out from there. You're getting ready and you get this text, "Hey if it's not too much trouble, can you stop at the store on the way over and get me some hair gel? No problem if it's too much trouble!" You reply "Of course, I'll stop and be over after!" But then your dog peed in the house, it's a mess and throws off your sense of time. You get sidetracked and end up taking too long to get ready, making you leave in a frenzy. You completely space on making the stop and show up empty handed.

He opens the door and looks down to your empty hands. "Oh, it's totally fine if you couldn't make the stop." You look up at his hair and can see why he asked you. His hair looks like total sh*t. Already now the next time he asks you for a small favor, in the back of his mind he will be questioning whether or not you will forget again. The trust is already a little displaced. These are the small moments that help us build a meaningful, trustworthy relationship.

We build trust through being consistent. Whether it’s fulfilling promises in a relationship over and over, or dictating a color scheme or font type for a brand, by being consistent we are showing we are trustworthy. When something or someone is consistent, people get a better sense of what to expect, leading to feelings of comfort and dependability. The more comfortable we feel, the more likely we are to open up. And when we open ourselves up, this makes way for a deeper connection. That connection proves more trust. See the cycle?

Branding As An Example

By staying unchanged in your brand and design, consumers are much more likely to trust that you will come through on your promise and deliver on it. They feel like they know you. This can apply to a small indie artist all the way to a major Fortune 500 company. It helps establish your brand, formulate recognition, and let people know who you are.

Imagine a world where Starbucks flipped from their iconic green to an ocean blue. And then Target abandoned their classic red and decided on a flat grey instead. A world where Mcdonald's "Golden" Arches are no longer golden. How would it make you feel if they changed their colors monthly? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore right? These are tools for recognition. Companies need to make decisions when establishing themselves to allow people to recognize them and build a meaningful relationship. Choose a font type and voice for your marketing materials and stick with it. Be persistent with it and over time you will win them over.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

If you say you are going to do something and you follow through on it, it shows you care, which in turn develops trust. That trust then transpires into loyalty. When we enter a new relationship we don’t know what to expect, we are willing to take a risk. If I promise you I will be there this Tuesday at 8PM and I don’t show up, will you trust me the next time I say it? If the newly elected president promises to ratify a treaty, but rather extends the war instead, are they likely to be reelected? This is why it's important to stay unwavered. So if you are going to be inconsistent, then be consistently inconsistent...right?

a guy snuggling up onto a girl in bed

We Rely On Trust

Trust lies at the heart of all social relationships. Everything starts with it. One could argue it’s the most important aspect of any meaningful relationship. We use it as a tool to help us navigate through life. Whether it’s traveling abroad in a new culture, finding love, or purchasing something new for the first time, it is our means of making educated decisions. From a young age we are taught to not engage with strangers. Why? Because they can’t be trusted. The concept of building trust over time is literally baked into society. It takes times and repetition for a sense of trust to be established. We learn to grow our trust in people who are there for us consistently through the good times and bad.

Everything starts with trust. It lies at the heart of all successful relationships.


Trust builds feelings of comfort and safety, dissembles stress and anxiety, and helps people work towards their goals. It’s an important factor in any business, whether you are in a band, a software startup, or working in a factory. Teamwork is the foundation for success. The ability to rely on one another allows businesses, relationships, and organizations to flourish and grow. We build trust in the workplace setting to help us come together to achieve collective goals.

Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Trust is typically earned. And unless told otherwise, we have no reason to trust something or someone for the first time. It's going out on a limb and putting yourself at risk. Will you get stood up? Will you get ripped off? It's only when actions meet words that we can start to formulate a significant relationship.

When entering into a new relationship, whether it's with a new coffee brand or your first tinder date, it’s important to deliver on your promises. When starting a business it’s important to choose aesthetics that will stay with you the entire way. Trust is built through continuously staying true over time.

Trust = Consistency | Consistency = Trust

comic of calvin and hobbes where calvin is telling his dad i hardly know you how can i trust you!





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